Tased

Well this blog hadn't exactly gone as planned. The academy was just a tad more time consuming than I had originally anticipated, so as you can see there hasn't been a post since before I actually started the academy. That's rather embarrassing for me. Anyway, I am reviving this blog, and plan to start posting on a regular basis.

I'm going to revive this blog with a little story from the academy (For those who don't know I graduated the academy back in May. I finished my FTO training at the end of July, and am finally out on my own!). My class consisted of a total of 24 cadets only one of which was female. At some point in April or May, it was all a blur, we went to the firearms range for two weeks of intensive training. This training included Taser certification. Well as part of the Taser class we had the "option" of being tased. The plan, for most of us, going into this torture session was to have the prongs taped to us and only take a half second jolt. Unfortunately each class has a couple muscle bound meatheads with too much testosterone coursing through their veins. My class was no different.

Meat head number one steps up to volunteer to be tased first. Not only to be tased first, but to take the full five second ride. Not just to take the full five second ride, but to also be shot with the prongs.

"No big deal" I think. This was to be expected from Mr. Meathead. There are still 23 others who are going to take the "easy" way out.

Next up is Mr. Meathead's buddy Mr. Meathead number two. He steps up to show he's not going to let number one be the only one to take the prongs and the full five seconds. These two knuckleheads have had some type of competition only they can understand, going on all academy long. They then somehow talk a third cadet into the five second torture.

After cadet number three takes the prongs and the full five seconds a little peer pressure starts building. "No big deal. I'm not going to be suckered into this game" I say to myself. There's still 21 others who have said they were only taking a half second..... WRONG!! Another cadet falls to peer pressure, and then the worst thing ever happened. The only female in the class stepped up and took the five second torture. Well it went downhill from there. We couldn't let the only female show the rest of us up. The entire class ended up taking the barbs and the full five seconds of full body cramp caused by the Taser. Grown men screamed like little girls, and the laughter of those who had gone before filled the room. It was the torture before the torture.

Finally my turn came. It was the worst pain EVER. There were flashes of red light before my eyes... I kept wishing for a black tunnel with a white light at the end. No such luck. It was only five seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. My arms spasmed. They ended up looking like those little arms on a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I collapsed to the floor disheveled, tired, and eager to get out on the road and find some dirtbag worthy of breaking in the Taser I would soon be issued!